New-Age Plague

Pandemic. A word I don’t recall ever hearing for 41 years of my life. Enter 2020, when that one word shook the walls off the entire planet.

In September of 2019, I began my exciting new position as a Leisure Coordinator at a retirement community. You may wonder what such a job would involve? In the most basic explanation, I was pretty much the inland equivalent of a cruise ship activities director for the independent living population. I dove head first into finding unique local events, performances and otherwise creative and fantastic opportunities to share with the life-experienced folk I worked with. My first actual trip occurred at the end of November and the months of December through February quickly blurred into a whirlwind of fun adventures and new experiences. My weeks consisted of everything from historical jail touring, to cake decorating to live performances of Mamma Mia. On multiple occasions I said out loud “I can’t believe I get paid to do this!”

In February, I started catching little snippets about this “coronavirus thing” that was running rampant in China. In my naive “it won’t affect us” mindset, I continued about my life without paying much attention to the topic. Prior to the massive metaphorical tsunami that was about to disrupt my world, things began to change in small waves. First it was a resident informing me she was canceling her reservations on trips due to fear of being in large groups of people who may have traveled internationally. I recall thinking that was such an extreme fear. Then I began hearing about US citizens who had contracted COVID-19 while traveling. Not long after and without much warning, a dark cloak was draped over our country and the entire nation shut down.

Imagine the repercussions this presented to someone whose entire profession involved providing leisure activities to seniors? My job basically became obsolete overnight. I began to research multiple virtual trips and activities that my residents could embark on while in the safety of their own home but outside of the virtual world, nothing remained of my regular duties. At the same time, the community where I worked erected barricades and instilled visitation regulations for those wishing to enter the campus to visit their family members. Shortly thereafter, guard shacks arrived at the only remaining entrances to both of our campuses. This created the need for employees to be present at said guard shacks 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and since my job was essentially on halt, I volunteered to fill the role.

Suddenly, my purpose of driving onto the property shifted from one of providing entertainment to one of protection. I spent my days stopping vehicles, asking why they wished to enter, and turning away family members hoping to wish their loved one a happy birthday.

I rode the wave of watching our county move from a free-to-come-and-go status, through a traffic light green-yellow-red pattern, to complete and total shutdown. I recall feeling as though I was personally dropped into a movie trailer for the next action blockbuster flick. (I swear there were times I heard a voice-over say “In a world...where a virus clutches entire nations.....”) Many began working from home and also multitudes of people unfortunately became unemployed. As a Leisure Coordinator, I considered myself a non-essential employee. However, as a security guard shack attendant, protecting residents from potentially dangerous germs trailing in the gates on the coat tails of visitors, I suddenly became essential.

It was at this time, in mid March, when both of my sons attended their last day of school for the school year. Unbeknownst to all of us, the “14 day” stay-at-home order that was presented to slow the spread of the virus, would eventually shut down the remainder of the school year. For my 4th grader, this was sheer joy. Two weeks off school?? He was delighted. For my 8th grader, this presented a whole new element of anxiety. As an already anxious kid, the upheaval of his remaining months of middle school was overwhelming. Fortunately, he quickly jumped into responsible teenager mode, as he typically does, and maneuvered through his remaining virtual school days like a champ.

The conclusion of the scheduled school year came upon us quickly and although my boys realized they were missing out on events, only I could really truly feel the sadness about the MOMENTS they were missing out on. Never again would my oldest be a middle-schooler, and he didn’t get to feel that bittersweet closure by cleaning out his locker, having friends sign his yearbook or saying goodbye to his teachers, whom he greatly respected. My youngest knew he was missing out on field day, of course. What he didn’t realize is he was also missing out on experiences such as his Gettysburg field trip, of which my own I still have recollections of many years later. He missed the opportunity to choose a musical instrument to begin learning for the next year, and the chance to say goodbye to his friends and teachers as well. I witnessed my typically social 10-year-old delve into a period of seclusion for a brief time. As much as I attempted to pull him out of it, I was trying to keep my own head bobbing above water to avoid feeling the exact same way.

My home became even more of a comfort haven from reality than usual and I tried to remain positive by reminding my boys there would soon be a light-at-the-end-of-the tunnel. At work I tried to also be that same Susie Sunshine for my residents, which at times became exhausting. I observed many residents decline predominantly in spirit but also in their cognitive and physical abilities. I learned of multiple deaths of residents within the community, none of which were attributed to COVID-19. It appeared to me that so many had just given up. They lacked the comfort of their family being able to visit in person. They missed social interaction with friends and other residents. It broke my heart to observe such a deep decline in spirit and I made sure to offer a smile (behind an always present mask) as often as I could just to brighten their day.

Flash forward to the start of summer, which brought a slight decrease in the need for strict restrictions as local numbers of positive COVID cases were decreasing. Although restrictions were beginning to lighten, there was still no hope of returning to my usual duties coordinating fun events. It was at this point that another, albeit also completely different, temporary job became available. After working as a security guard for several months, what could possibly be more obscure to my actual job description? Enter my summer as a mulcher. I became a full-fledged member of the grounds crew, along with four other employees, all of whom were also rookies to the department. My mulching experience is another biographical depiction all in itself. What I thought would be a summer consisting merely of slinging mulch morphed into one in which I tested my own limits and gained knowledge about what made me feel worthwhile and fulfilled. I never would have dreamt that I would derive personal accomplishment from a job consisting entirely of manual labor, yet somehow it was one of the most fulfilling positions I’ve held. I ventured far outside my comfort zone and spent most of my days miserably hot, yet I was fortunate to develop strong personal connections with my fellow mulchers . An unfortunate bout of tendinitis in my hand, stemming from overuse, lead to an abrupt end to my mulching career. Once again, another whirlwind experience that was attributed entirely to COVID.

Returning to my office and my usual job and all that it entailed, was in a nutshell, challenging. The world had changed. The intention of the job I was hired for became slightly skewed. Just like everyone else, I tried to meander through the “new normal” that quickly became unacceptable for me. I longed for the time when I could walk down any hallway in the building and I could smile and chat with residents. I reminisced about what it was like to order my lunch at the cafe in my building. I grieved for the trips I had planned during the summer that were forced to be canceled.

And now after 5 long months, my sweet sons are gearing up to return to school. I don’t mean they’ll be doing so in the virtual sense, instead they will once again be walking through the doorway of their schools. My oldest son however will be gallantly striding through a brand new door in his journey. The decision to send children back to school, or not to, quickly became a hot topic over the summer months leading up to the school year. Parents began to feel as though no matter the decision they made in regards to their children’s educational environment, someone would have an opinion. This decision was never difficult for myself and the father of my sons. We both agreed whole-heartedly that the ideal environment for our boys to continue their education was through direct instruction. I stand by our decision because ultimately as their parents, we are the only ones who are fully aware of what is best for our children. Both of my sons are, to say the least, ecstatic to be returning to the brick and mortar of their educational career. I couldn’t be more proud and in awe of the manner in which both of them carried themselves during this pandemic that unknowingly rattled their mom. With every new and changing development during the pandemic, the two young lives that I helped create, were flipped upside down. And yet both of my incredible sons handled each situation with grace, intelligence and perspective. In a time when so many adults have resorted to berating one another, I acknowledge and celebrate my boys for their ability to remain level-headed and flexible.

Our world will never be quite the same as it was pre-COVID. In many ways, that fact is disheartening. But in my own little world, I was able to witness my own personal growth as well as my sons growing and maturing in ways I never would’ve expected and the insights I’ve gained have been life-altering themselves. I’ve taken the time to slow down, really truly cherish every fleeting moment and understand that the things I can not control are best to just let go of. I have a new comprehension that we are destined to experience certain challenges for a reason and that what’s most important in these situations is to gain perspective and knowledge. I may never be able to say I changed the world, but the events of 2020 have definitely changed me in ways I’ll forever be grateful for.